WOW. It’s been a while.

Hi Everyone!

I am a failure at keeping up with this blog! SO MUCH IS HAPPENING! This will be a quick  update post! Also, my Poem a Day for October is going strong…in my notebook! I will include all of them in a later post to catch you all up! I’ve kept up with it, I just haven’t had the time to type/post them all here!

OKAY, LIFE UPDATE!

I GOT A NEW JOB! I start the very last week of October! I have been hired at a Substance Abuse Clinician and I couldn’t be more excited!! It will be challenging, but I know it will be worth it! Watching my career goals come to fruition has been a dream! I didn’t expect to be offered a full-time position so soon, but when opportunity knocks, you better answer the door! I am so, so excited to do something that I am passionate about! “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

OTHER THINGS: Key points –

  • Dating again is weird
  • Online dating is even weirder
  • I’ve surprisingly had some decent luck with it, but all dates have wound up as new friends rather than romantic interests thus far – not even mad.
  • I had to get Facebook again because I was asked to be the MOH in my best friend’s wedding! It will be gone again once all of the planning and all of that is done with (Next October!) I am not happy about it, but I’ll do anything for my friends!
  • My TEN YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION is coming up in January! I feel old AF! Looking forward to seeing everyone though
  • The goal to downsize all the things is going well!
  • My credit card debt should be paid off by Christmas (!!!!)
  • I am saving for a condo and hope to have my own place by next Summer!

I am currently training my replacement and trying to get everything situated before I leave this position, so don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me for another few weeks. It’s nothing personal, life is just happening and I’m doing my best to keep up! I’ll do another post ASAP!

Enjoy your week!

Cleaning out my (mom’s) closet! & A new Poetry challenge!

Hello, happy Monday; give me all the coffee! Also, I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS ALREADY OCTOBER!

So, this weekend was pretty solid. I spent some much needed girl time with my best fraaand since age 6, I went on a great date, had a lot of great conversations and ate a lot of delicious food! Additionally, on Sunday, I (finally!) got my mom to go through the first round of cleaning out her closet! My mom is a beautiful lady, who always tends to wear things that are super worn and too big on her; we started to remedy that issue yesterday. Never have I ever seen SO many clothes. We made a pretty good dent, but we still have 2 dressers and another small closet to go. Progress photos below!

BEFORE! (YIKES!)

AFTER!!!!! (YAY!)

After that whole process was complete, we wound up with 3 huge bags full of clothing, (which we donated to the Lawrence Crisis Center) and a whole box full of name-brand clothing that we will be trying to sell to second-hand stores for some extra cash.

I love to help people de-clutter, but I also need to remember that not everyone is as comfortable as I am with going down to just basics. It’s going to be a different process for everyone that I assist/that goes through the process themselves. Everyone has a different definition of “just enough,” so, not only was this a learning experience for her, but it was for me as well.

Additionally, yesterday I decided that I am going to write one poem a day for the entire month of October. I do not write as much as I used to and that is a horrible, terrible, very bad thing. I love writing poetry! (And I don’t suck at it entirely either!) so, that being said, this “challenge” will be an effort to get myself back into the creative swing of things. I’ll post them all on here, so keep your eyes peeled if that peeks your interest!

That’s all for now!

THANK GOD IT’S WEDNESDAY

Hey. What’s up? Hello. I keep taking unintentional hiatuses. Sorry. These last few weeks have been slightly insane. I can’t complain, but I am going to say that I need way more sleep than I have been getting.

Where do I even begin? How many days has it been? Oh, right! I went to the Cape for an overnight last week! It was fun, but very humid! It was great to see my family and get some beach time in! I packed super light, because I was there for less than 24 hours, but I promised you an itemized list, so here it is!

 

 

  • 1 maxi dress for our annual family dinner (which doubled as a beach cover up for the following day)
  • 1 pair of shorts + a tank top to sleep in
  • 1 pair of “fancy” sandals to wear to the family dinner (which doubled as beach shoes for the following day)
  • 1 pair of jeans + 1 tank top + boat shoes which I wore during my travel time down and drive back (outfit pictured above)
  • 1 (very) small over the shoulder bag to accessorize my dinner outfit & hold my money, card & phone
  • Necessary undergarments (duh) x3
  • 1 Hoodie because this is New England and you just never friggen know
  • Beach towel
  • Baseball hat
  • Bathing suit
  • Phone charger
  • A book to read at the beach
  • minimal make-up & personal hygiene/hair care items (cover-up, sunscreen, mascara, foundation, toothbrush and travel-sized toothpaste, face wash and 2-in-1 shampoo, hair straightener, comb and deodorant

The Cape is ALWAYS beautiful and I wish I could have spent more time down there, but I am glad I got to go. Here’s some pictures!

 


What else? OH YEAH! I went to the Alkaline Trio show in Boston on Saturday. I have been DYING to see them play! They have remained one of my favorite bands for many years. Here’s a video!

In other news, I’ve also been going to zumba four times a week and I LOVE IT! Finally finding a way to work out that I can get excited about makes me very excited about my fitness goals! I used to dread the gym, but going to the zumba studio instead has really changed that for me! I get to shake my butt to get back in shape; I am living the dream! haha!

I think that is all for now. I have my last “big” vacation coming up on Thursday of next week! That day can’t arrive soon enough! Very much looking forward to spending 5 days on the beach in Maine! I’ll do a “what I packed” update and all of that for that trip as well! Until then, enjoy the rest of your week/weekend!

 

The fog.

This weather is weird. It’s kind of eerie, but I kind of like it, because I’m strange like that.

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I am sorry that I haven’t been updating much. It has been a weird month and then some.

Things to look forward to? I am going to the Cape for an overnight tomorrow. I could use the break. Really feels like I need a day to reset & be around my family and the beach. Friday is ladies night! I am going out with my girl friends to eat, dance and be merry! Saturday will be great too because I FINALLY get to see Alkaline Trio, which I’ve been trying to check off my concert bucket list for years! Good things coming up!

In other news, my last overnight shift is a week from Saturday. I am excited to get my weekends back and look forward to not working 7 days a week.

Short update, I know, but at least it’s something! Fun update(s) to come. I’ll post about my Cape trip & how I pack light for an overnight! I will also post about the concert and hopefully get some great pictures of Boston on Friday while I am out too. Until then, enjoy the rest of your week!

Today is strange.

I am going to get some stuff off of my chest right now. You’ve been warned.

Yesterday, I wound up having to move the rest of my stuff out of the apartment that I used to share with my (now ex) boyfriend of almost 6 years. It was terrible. I’ve never cried so much in my life and I’ve never experienced so many emotions at once. His story is one that he has decided he needs to live without me. I don’t know if it’s permanent, I don’t know what it means, and I don’t know what he is feeling, but he believes that he needs to do his own thing right now.

The hardest part about all of this is that his decision to end things actually has nothing to do with anything I did or didn’t do. It’s solely something internal that has been eating at him over the last year. I can’t tell you how many times he’s said that to me and apologized for everything – for being the catalyst for all of this. When he told me he “hadn’t been excited about the relationship for over a year,” my heart felt like it had shattered into 5076575806257635 pieces. I was so taken aback – so thrown off. I don’t understand and I’ve never been more confused. At the same time, while trying to deal with my own emotions, I like to think that I understand what he needs. His honesty was both refreshing and heartbreaking. He has always been such an honest and amazing person, and that is why this has hit me so hard. I don’t know what changed inside of his head, but I can’t help but think I had something to do with it, despite his constant, “No, this is all me.” It almost feels like he’s lost himself and that destroys me, down to my very core.

The thing here is that I love him SO much, that all I want is what is best for him. I am devastated that what he believes is best may not involve me, but I am doing my best to respect his decision. I gave my keys back yesterday, we’ve switched the phones over, all of the technical things have been done, and now all that’s left for me to do is grieve. This wasn’t a hostile break-up; this break-up has come to fruition because he is missing something inside of himself and all I want is for him to find his peace.

I know that I’ve mentioned this before, but I have to keep reminding myself of it: “If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they are yours, if they don’t, they never were.”

I hope with every fiber of my being, that he finds his way back to me, but I know that I cannot will something like this to work in my favor. Only time will tell and only fate can guide something like this. My heart is so heavy. I don’t know what else to say.